Roulette
by Paopu Pop
Summary: SEQUEL TO THIS PIECE OF FABRIC [sided shonenaiColloyd] After returning to Iselia, Lloyd finds love in someone else. But Genis is lonely, and can't figure out his own feelings for Lloyd. COMPLETED UNTIL SEQUEL
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Bwaha! So, who saw the sequel coming? **

**Okay, probably a couple. Whoever the heck is sitting at their computer, saying, "I KNEW IT!"... just, shut-up. -.-**

**Aww, I'm only teasing! n.n; Anyway, this is the sequel to _This Piece of Fabric. _If you haven't read it, I recommend you go back and read that: or you won't be understanding this fic.**

**If anyone who knows me personally is reading this (I hope not Ame, she's not supposed to know this, but she's the only one I can actually think of...) this is a twist of thoughts that have been running through my head for a bit. I'm still trying to figure out my thoughts: why or how I'm having them. After this chapter, I'll explain things. If the fic dies, I'll unpost it or something. n.n; Who knows what's gonna happen...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything somebody else does.**

**Note: This takes place _after _everyone returns from destroying Mithos and such. And Zelos is alive, blahblahblah. (I'm not sure of his relevance though... XD; )

* * *

**_**Roulette**_

_Chapter 1_

_I found myself awake this morning  
__Wondering what today would bring  
__Fortune or misfortune  
__Let the roulette spin_

It seemed like I had barely gotten enough sleep. Yawning, I peered over to the figure standing by the bedside. "Lloyd, it's time to go to school."

"Yeah, yeah..." I stripped the covers from the bed and rolled off gently onto my feet, where I stood a few moments and looked into the intruder eyes. "Maybe I could sleep a little longer and you could _fly _me to school... Kratos?"

He heaved a sigh. "Just get ready for school." I exchanged my nightshirt for a black shirt, and hopped out the door while slipping on blue pants and grabbed the bag Kratos held out for me.

"Sure you don't want to?"

"Lloyd, I'm not using my powers to get _you _out of your responsibilities."

"It's not responsibility, it's... oppurtunity," I replied sassily, diving into my boots and walking fast-paced while conversing with my father.

"Somebody's gotten an attitude..."

"I just woke up, sue me. See ya when I get back!" My walk turned into a fullspeed run, carelessly and clumsily jumping (or tripping) over obstacles, such as rocks, branches, and bushes.

__

Maybe I'll get lucky  
Maybe I'll lose it all  
Who knows? I'll sit back  
And watch the rolling ball

I was intrigued by the new novel Raine had lent me, when I heard the door bust open. "Sorry I'm late!" the perpertrator's voice called.

"You're not late," I laughed, "you're kinda early."

"Say wha?" I looked to see Lloyd's face: gaping and shocked. "Oh, dammit! Kratos sent me early!" He pouted before sitting next to me, and I closed my book. "So, Genis, whatcha reading?"

"Ah, something you'd never understand," I replied, smiling. "Too much vocabulary for ya."

"Oh, _haha, _very funny," he snorted. But I _did _find it quite funny. "So, how have ya been doing?"

"Um, Lloyd, you saw me yesterday." I blinked.

"Yeah, but I mean since yesterday." Cocking my head, I gave a short, "I've been fine," and repeated the question back. I was ready for the long list of things he did. "Well, you see, Kratos... er, _Dad_ has sort of been a pain, going on about responsibilities and stuff once he goes to Derris Kharlan. But really, does he need to exaggerate it so much? _And _not to mention that once again I spent a boring evening at _home, _doing nothing but sitting in my bed and thinking and stuff." Wow, that was shorter than usual. "Not to mention I miss Colette..." Oh no, here we go...

"Lloyd, Colette's fine! She's just got a cold, that's all."

"I know, but I can't help it..." Raine walked in as he continued. "And I can't stop thinking about her too."

"Not to butt in," Raine said, pointing to the new swarm of students, "but our class is starting."

"Yes professor," we said in unison, smiling innocently.

She started on about math, which I quickly tuned out (seeing as how I knew most of this stuff anyhow,) and gave my thoughts room to think upon more _important _matters, such as Lloyd. Ever since he and Zelos had that... _fight _thing, he'd changed his way of thinking a little, and grew fonder of Colette. And... well... they were dating. Which still sort of boggled my mind, I mean, they _were _the perfect pair, but I couldn't help but be jealous. I recently turned thirteen, and my hormones were taking me for a joy ride or something. Hearing Lloyd talk about Colette sort of tweaked me some, but sometimes I laughed. I admired Lloyd, he was brave. And I admired his intelligence: sure, he wasn't _academically _smart, and even totally _common sense _smart, but he had a knack for figuring through stuff. I could listen to a lesson and pick things up, but I always had my thoughts laid out on paper or through lecture. And that was just _one _of the things I admired... "Genis!"

It took me a few moments before the voice sunk in. I stared straight at Raine before giving a "huh?" which produced laughter. "I said, what does X equal?" She pointed her chalk to the board.

"Oh, it's..." I stalled while numbers were punched into calculations through my head. "Oh, it's the negative or positive square root of 5 minus 4."

"Correct." She nodded before talking again. Again, I cleared my head of her, and questioned how I had gotten onto the topic of my admirations of Lloyd. I heard a "smooth Genis," come from the boy himself, but I chose to ignore it as if I didn't hear him.

__

Spin, spin, spin  
Spinning like a top  
I know what I wanna see  
When the roulette finally stops

After class, I didn't even get a chance to say hi to Lloyd before he zoomed out the door after Colette, most expectantly, of course. I buried myself into the novel again, but quickly set it down, out of pure unattachment and lack of attention. My mind was still focused to Lloyd. _Always back to him..._

It seemed unfair. Why did Lloyd's hormones have to take over him _now? _I rested my chin in the palms of my hands, lost in a reverie. I needed him now probably more than ever: everyone else had gone back to their hometowns and such, and it felt sort of... empty. And I felt unloved. I wanted to be held, and told that everything was okay. That I'd never been betrayed, that I'd never been hurt by someone that I thought I had loved... but Lloyd was so busy on other matters that he never noticed. Which was... okay, I guess, I'd rather him be happy with Colette: they _were_ meant for each other. But, I couldn't help feeling how I did, and tears fell down my cheeks. Realizing that my sister may have been around, I looked up and did a full room check: I was alone. Folding my arms onto the desk, they were like two pillows, where I sat and cried. My heart hurt so badly.

* * *

I slowly lifted my head back up, and regained consciousness. Where was my bed? As I looked around, the chalkboards and desks reminded me that I had never left the classroom. But it was pitch black: how long had I been here? 

Drowzily, I sat back up and grabbed my schoolbooks, heading for home, which wasn't far away, luckily. Nobody had even come for me, and I _had _to be here for a few hours. Gee, I felt so loved.

When I walked into the door, Raine's arms and head were sprawled onto the kitchen table. Perhaps she had fallen asleep as well, which explains why she hadn't come for me. I stumbled over tiredly and nudged her shoulder slightly, arousing her from her sleep. "Huh? Genis, what time is it?" Her sentence was slurred and barely understandable.

"I dunno, I just got home," I said back, probably just as slurred.

"Ah, I guess we should get some sleep for tomorrow then." She stood up to leave when she looked at me. "Genis? Why aren't you..."

"Raine..."

"Yeah?"

My thoughts weren't strong enough to make another clear sentence. "I'm just going to sleep right here." I collasped into the chair that she had pulled out. I was about to tell her that I was hurting: but maybe it was just best if I kept my mouth shut. And besides, I couldn't stay awake another moment. What was left of my train of thought was swept away into an ocean of dreams.

_My impatience is killing me  
__I want to see my prize now  
__But the roulette keeps spinning  
__'round and 'round and 'round

* * *

_

**A/N: Yes, there's implied and shonen-ai reference. While the "Lloyd/Zelos situation"reference was from _This Piece of Fabric _(what I mean is that that _was _a shonen-aireference),Genis' definition of "unloved" goes a two ways: friends: I'm not needed. If I died tomorrow, would they _need _me? And as in LOVE: I want somebody to hold. And since this fic is based off of my own life, well... that's how it is with me as well.**

**And the character positions have been switched for this fic. Just try to guess who's who. Although, I realized that somehow, some of the personalities got mixed in a part or two. n.n;**

**By the way, flames will be hated extremely. You're completely stupid to flame this because it's shonen-ai: if anything, it's _anti-_shonen-ai. Not to say I don't support, but this is a more delicate piece. Actually, ya know, flamers are stupid altogether. Don't support? Shut yer dang mouth and go away. But... flames will be used in my flamethrower to destroy... erm... things... HAHAHA! X3 And to warm my bed... .o.o.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I... feel... dead. x.x But I'd better write this while I have clearer memories of the other night...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything anyone else owns, while I _do _own Roulette (in-between poetry). Haha.

* * *

**_**Roulette  
**__Chapter 2_

_I see the wheel slowing  
__My choice win passes by  
__I hope it goes long enough  
__So I win that special prize_

When I woke again, I was lying in soft sheets. Though slightly confused on why I was here, I quickly concluded that Raine put me to bed. It also occured to me that bright sunlight was pouring into my window: it must've been late morning. For a moment I panicked about school, but I quickly remembered it was a Saturday. And Raine let us have us have off on Saturdays as well as Sundays, which was pretty nice.

I heard intruding footsteps enter, and looked up to see that it was her. A hint of concern was drawn on her face, as she walked in and sat on the side of the bed. "Are you feeling well?" She drew a hand to my forehead to check for a fever.

"Yeah, I'm fine." My eyes were almost adjusted to the morning light.

"Just making sure. You collasped on the chair last night, then mumbled something about Lloyd..."

"I-I didn't say anything... w-_weird... _did I?" I stuttered.

"No, actually, I couldn't make out what you said." I sighed in relief as she got up to walk away. "But, is there something wrong between you and Lloyd?"

"Huh? No, there's nothing. Why?"

"You seem to show the sames signs Lloyd did with the whole Zelos episode." At that time, I sprung from the bed, pulling some sheets with me.

**"I am not!" **I shouted, followed by a short moment of silence.

"Okay," she said, crossing her arms, "but when you want to talk about it, I'll be here." She walked off as I commented that I was _not _gay. But as she left, I let myself drop on the floor on my rear, resting my head in my hands again.

_I don't really feel that way about Lloyd... do I? _

But as the roulette ends  
_I start beginning to see  
__That I'll never get what I want  
__It's too far out of reach_

After changing my clothes into a clean pair of blue shorts and white shirt, I heard knocking on the door. Apparently Raine did too, because she claimed she was busy and asked (more like commanded) me to open the door. I made my way to the door and opened it, only to be greeted by a pure smile and a mischevious grin.

"Genis, hey! Colette was feelin' better, and we thought maybe you'd like to hang out!" Lloyd said cheerfully, inviting himself (and Colette) inside. I sighed at his na­ïvity, but then laughed as he tripped on himself.

"Lloyd, are you all right?" Colette bent over to him worriedly, as I stood back and watched. He said that he was fine, and smiled at her. I wished that he would look at _me _like that. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, really," he replied.

"You dummy," I snickered, before receiving a playful glare. "So, what did you want to do?"

Since we couldn't think of anything better, we sat on the couch in the living room. (1) "This is fun," I said boldly.

"No it's not," Lloyd moaned. Under my breath, I muttered that I was being sarcastic. He looked to his right at me, before turning to his left at Colette. "You still look a little feverish."

"Me? Ah, no, I'm just fine," she said.

"Why don't we just _sleep, _since we're doing nothing else?" Lloyd suggested. Finding it a fairly good idea, I let my eyes close before Lloyd commented about just kidding. I shivered: it was slightly cold. Next thing I knew, I felt two strong arms wrapped around me, and I opened one eye to look at Lloyd.

"Why aren't you holding Colette instead of me?" I asked, as if he was doing the wrong thing.

"She fell asleep on my shoulder in a weird position, I can't," he answered back. From where I was, I couldn't see if she actually was or not. "Besides, _you _were the one who was cold."

"Me? Cold? Was not."

"Were too. You had goosebumps on your arms."

"But that... I... ah, forget it." I didn't want to argue: the warmth of his clothing was nice. To feel and hear him breathing against me, to smell his distinct smell, to feel safe and protected. _This _is what I wanted most, to be held like this like I was everything... (2)

But I wasn't. I let myself forget the fact that the only reason why _I _was being held was because he couldn't hold Colette. And though that hurt, this made it better. (2)

_It finally stops  
__The roulette is done  
__I find myself winning  
__A total of none_

To my surprise, I was still wrapped up in two arms when I woke up. Drowzily, my eyes opened, and I knew right away that my friend was awake. "Hmm? Genis?" I mumbled incoherently in response. "Hey, come on, time to get up."

"Nnnghh..." I groaned. Feeling release around my body, I had no choice but to sit up on my own. As I shook my head softly, I heard chuckling. "Huh? Lloyd, whasso funneh?"

"The way you look right now makes you look like zombie!" He laughed harder as he reached over to untangle my hair. I was too tired to insist on doing it myself, and I allowed him to fix it. "There, better."

"Where's Colette?" I muttered, quickly changing the subject.

"With the professor for a minute or two," he replied lightly. It became silent for a moment before Colette came back in, followed by Raine.

"Colette suggested that we went to the lake. You guys wanna go?" Lloyd pratically _demanded _that we went, while a small voice in my head bursted out loud:

"There's a _lake!"_

"Of course there is," Raine sighed. "You didn't know?"

"No..." I shook my head and felt like an idiot. "But sure, let's go." I stood up and felt lightheaded enough to fall back towards the couch, only to be caught in the same two arms as earlier. "You're quick."

"Hah, I'm just skilled," he laughed.

_I throw in my spare change  
__For another chance  
__Maybe I'd get lucky  
__Or maybe I can't_

When we reached the lakeside, it was more beautiful than I thought it would be. The sun was just setting, and everything seemed to glow purple and orange. I watched as Lloyd led Colette to the edge, and I immediately started walking _away, _knowing what was coming.

"Hm? Hey Genis, where are you going?" Raine asked.

"I'll be back, just walking around the lake," I muttered, daring not to look back at the two.

When a few minutes passed by and I felt as if I were far enough away, I let myself fall on the ground. I knew this would happen when we got here... but...

Why was I so **jealous?**

Wasn't the typical reaction for friends to be happy for each other when they had someone special? Weren't they supposed to support each other?

Maybe I was thinking this the wrong way. Maybe I'm just jealous because Lloyd doesn't think of me as the most important person in his life anymore, but now is girlfriend is. Or maybe I'm jealous because I wanted someone to hold to, to have someone who would love me as I loved them. Or maybe... was it both?

No, it couldn't have been _that! _That would mean that I really did... no, no! I realized that tears were forming in my eyes, soon slowly rolling down my cheeks.

My attention was brought to a voice calling through the woods. "Genis! Genis!"

"Raine?" I sniffled, trying to piece myself back together quickly.

"Genis, where are you? It's getting dark, we're heading back!"

"Nnngh..." I sighed, then stood up. "I'm here!"

"Genis!" She ran over to me. "Come on." She held out a hand, and I could barely see a look of concern etched on her face. Just how dark had it gotten?

"All right." I took the hand and I was led through the clearing where we had entered, and the other two joined us.

_I cross my fingers and hope  
__That this time I'll win  
__Fortune I pray for  
__Let the roulette spin_

We stopped at Dirk's house to drop off Lloyd. Through the dark illuminated Raine's lamp, flames flickering in the sides. He gave a farewell, and kissed Colette. I turned away so he couldn't see the pain already forming in my frown, and he ran to the house as I swore I heard Kratos starting to scold. I chuckled lightly, hiding the hurt from one single kiss behind my closed eyes. I didn't notice Raine stopping to look at me, concern still there on her expression.

Once we reached Iselia, the night lamps lighted the streets, allowing Colette to find her own way home. Raine and I finally arrived at our house, and eventually I made it to my bed, only to plop down in my pajamas and ready myself for sleep.

But as I curled up on my side, I picked up a peculiar scent. I leaned over and smelled the pillow, but the scent was wrong... something was wrong... It smelled like... Lloyd?

No, no... wait... this was stupid! We weren't even in here, that's not... I smelled again, but I picked up his scent. I felt awkward, yet comforted by the smell, and breathed it in. But I quickly came to my senses. It was all in my head. This was all a dream, he was never in here. And yet, I wanted him to be here, holding me so badly. Tears came again as desperate pleas for my best friend to come and stay here with me. Everything hurt again, I just wanted him to be here...

**What the hell was wrong with me?**

My distant mind was brought back to where I was when the door was knocked upon. Wiping away my tears, I murmured a soft, "Yeah?"

"Yo, open up!" That was _not _Raine. Number one: Raine's voice was _not _that deep. Number two: she would _not _say "yo." Number three... "Uh, I know it's a little late, but Sheena got mad at me, so I came here. I dared not to wake the gorgeous professor from her beauty sleep, so I thought maybe I could stay here..." Only _one _person had that voice.

_Damn it, _I thought, opening the door and proving my suspicions. "Why am I not surprised?" I moaned, annoyed.

"Well, I just need a little distance from her, that's all..." he chuckled. "So?"

"I'm too tired to argue. Go sleep on the couch or somethin', and we'll see what happens in the mornin'." My words were barely understandable.

"Thanks brat," he said gratefully. I pouted softly as he closed the door. _Yeah, calling me a "brat" is some way to thank me... _I crawled back into bed and practically begged myself to fall asleep, but again the tears began to rain from my clouded eyes. I closed them to let myself drift away, when the door opened again. "By the way, you wouldn't happen to have any..." His sentence fell, and I could hear him trudge over to the bedside. "Hm? Did I upset you with the insult?" he said cockily.

"No. That's not unusual," I replied, my voice slightly changed by my full sobbing, and I rolled on my other side, _away _from the pestering former Chosen.

"Then what's got you bawling?"

"You don't friggin' care."

"Sure I do. Look, I'll stop making fun of you (for now) if you just tell me what's up." My decision making was affected by my lack of sleep, mind you. I turned back around to look at him, sitting on the bed. "Well?"

Before I thought about what I was doing, I sat up beside him in an indian-style position. I looked down at my newly folded hands, already twirling my thumbs. "You... I... feh, what am I telling you for?" I looked away, stopped with a strong hand on my shoulder.

"Come on, you've started, now you have to finish."

"Look... I..." Twisting myself back to face him (or face his chest, depends on how you look at it,) I finally got myself to burst out, "Is it wrong to want to be loved?"

He seemed slightly stunned by the question. And I was myself. What did _he _know about love? For Martel's sake, he was the biggest flirts on the planet. "Uh, no... it isn't..." he answered slowly. "But, you're only thirteen, so why..."

"Is it wrong to want to be loved more than his girlfriend!" I grabbed a bundlefull of sheets and sobbed quietly, but hard into the fabric. I could feel arms trying to comfort me again, followed by a short, but slow:

"You and Lloyd... are more... _alike_ than I thought."

I wanted to hit him then, but I was too miserable to care. It finally occured to me. My worst nightmare was real...

**I loved Lloyd.**

_Would I get lucky?  
__Would I lose it all?  
__The ball keeps rolling  
I pray that I don't fall

* * *

_**A/N: Aww, how sad! Numbers first.**

**(1) :blinks: Did they _have _couches back then?... well, they do now. o.o;**

**(2) To clarify, Genis is thinking/talking friendship-wise. Yeah, what he _thinks... _XD**

**Also, this is the first chapter that I started crying while writing. Yeah, it's that sad. Oh, and I learned you can imagine smells. X.x; And I still do that too... very sad.**

**By the way, this is getting kinda _fun _to write. So please don't worry about me, I'm all right. Mostly. Please review... .o.o. Flames will be used in the master flamethrower! HEHE. XD So flaming will only support me in destroying you, because you are LOSERS who are jealous of such TALENT. Heh. Two out of three flamers can't spell. I mean, who can't spell "asshole" and "pregnant"? LOSERS. (I'm referring to flames from _I'm Lost Without You, _and _Just Follow Your Heart.) _By the way, there _is _more coming, maybe even a branching sequel from this.Heh...**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: You know what I realized? I realized that half of my author notes get sucked down the drain. I mean, I'm staring at the giant paragraph of it, but... I remember cutting most of this out... wow. **

**Anyway, I'm happy to announce that I'm pretty sure that my feelings are compelled to wanted to be protected. But, I'm not totally estatic, because I can't look at myself in a mirror and truly say that, not yet. (Well, I also have a slight phobia of looking at my myself in a mirror in a public bathroom, but that's a whole different story...) Or it might be that I also want to be loved like that... probably both. **

**So, things will definitely be twisted from the real thing. But this _is _still a bit of reflecting, so it's not completely out of the blue... (for now, anyway.) **

**...I _really _hope that doesn't end up getting cut either. -.-**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia and BLAHBLAHBLAH. I've always wondered if we needed these things, I mean it _is _posted on the ultimate fanfiction site, so of course we don't own it or anything... but these things are fun to toss in anyway.

* * *

**_**Roulette  
**__Chapter 3_

_Spinning around in circles  
__Like an orbit around the sun  
__I can feel the pain coming  
__And it's only just begun_

"So, what do I do?" I asked, my voice quivering. The idiot seemed to be at a loss for words. Trying to get him to reply, I crossed my arms and huffed, "I knew it. You _don't _care."

"I'm thinking! You want my help or not?" I couldn't believe this, I was getting help from the _last _person I wanted to _talk_ to. "Maybe you should tell him how you feel."

"B-but if I do _that, _then he... he might keep his distance from me and think I'm stupid, or _worse, _he'd hate me!"

"Hey, if I do recall correctly, I believe that he had once proclaimed love to another man as well?" I couldn't tell whether his grin was cocky or comforting. Creepy enough, it seemed like both. "And why would he hate you?"

"Because just like you hated him, you felt like he was trying to squirm into the relationship?"

"Hey, now! I never _hated _him! I was just a little miffed, that's all. But you gotta admit, you _are _trying to do that, aren't you?"

"No, Mr. _I'm so smart, _I'm supporting them!" Now fully awake and fully aware that this was a moronic idea, I had no choice but to attempt ending it with a short 'g'night.' _Unfortunately, _Zelos refused to allow me that choice.

"Subconsciously, yes. You're jealous of Colette, aren't you?" I nodded. "Well, your emotions are telling you to kick her off a cliff or something so you can have Lloyd all to yourself." I was amazed at how funny he thought he was.

"Yeah, sure. Cliff. Whatever. G'night." I think he finally gave up, because he actually let me lie down in the sheets again and try to sleep. But before leaving, soft words fell on my ear.

_"If you need someone to talk to, I'm here." _

"Oh yeah, like I'm gonna talk to _you _again."

"Hey, I heard that!"

"Good, you were supposed to."

_I clasp my hands together  
__And I pray for my fate  
__That I win what I need  
__So now I patiently wait_

Sunday rolled on by, into Monday, which meant school. Raine apparently didn't mind Zelos staying with us, probably only because she didn't want Sheena to be accused with _murder _or anything. But I had no clue that we would have a temporary math teacher. Just _guess _who.

"So, like I was saying, you take this X thinger here, and you write it on this side instead, because you plused it on this side, so you have to do the same on _this _side..." Quite frankly, I wish that Raine would've stayed to see she went wrong on this one. I could've _sworn _Zelos was smarter than this. Maybe he had been acting like an idiot on purpose. "So, what's the answer, _Genis?" _He smiled at me with that stupid grin of his again.

"If you'd speak some comprehendable language, I might know," I snorted. The class was laughing, but Zelos wasn't. Silently, he walked over to me and leaned over.

_"Would you like me to turn this into a different subject? How about Health? Then we could talk about mental health" _Catching the hint, I jumped up and said the answer. "Very good!" He said, becoming straight once again and strutting back to the front of the classroom. Furious that he would even _dare _hint that, I sat down and remained silent until Raine came back.

* * *

After class, I ran straight home, without saying a word to anyone (except Lloyd and Colette, who got a simple, "see ya later,") and bursted into the door. I stomped into the living room and over to where Zelos was sitting, on that damned couch. "You asshole! I thought you said you were _helping _me last night, not finding my weak spots!"

"Well, you acted like a brat in the middle of class. What else was I supposed to do?"

"Do as I said and spoke in a comprehendable language!" To this day, I'm not really sure exactly what happened, or how I ended up on the floor, Zelos pinning my wrists to my shoulders. "Get off of me!"

"I don't think so! As your teacher, you should _not _talk to me that way!"

"You're not my damned teacher! Now get off of me, I feel violated!" Which was very true. If we hadn't been fighting, I would've sworn he was trying to rape me.

"Isn't that what you want? Or at least, by another man anyway," he said, calming his tone into a slick, slimy defense. I not only felt utter defeat, but I became angry.

"Just shut-up and get off of me!" I felt my face reddening quickly, and tears from deep down started rising to the surface. "Get the friggin' hell off of me!"

"Okay, okay, whatever." He did a cross between a roll and jump off of me, and as soon as it was possible, I scrambled to my feet and ran into my room, slamming the door behind me.

"I wish he'd just keep his mouth shut..." I groaned, tears falling freely from my cheeks. "It's nothing I can help, and I feel so helpless..." I didn't _just _feel helpless. I felt embarrased, ashamed, unloved, disappointed... _disgusted... _The door behind my back was rattling.

"Genis, open up!"

"Go away!" I shouted. "You're no help at all!"

"If you open up, I promise not to say anything stupid! Look, I'm sorry!" Typically, this wasn't you heard from Zelos. "Tw... Genis, come on, let me in!"

**"No!" **I didn't believe him, and I just wanted to be left alone. Then I looked at the window, big enough to crawl through. I snuck a chair under the knob to keep it steady, at least for the time being.

_"Genis, I'll break down this door!" _With a final slam, the door swung open. "Now..." He finally noticed that only a chair occupied the room, and then his view shifted to the open window, curtains blowing in the breeze. "Damn it..."

_It's time for me to let go  
__So I bow down my head  
__I don't wait for loss  
__I walk away instead_

It seemed like an eternity before I reached the graveyard. The clouds blanketed the sun, giving the area an eerie feeling. I knew my way around, at least to whom I had come to visit, anyway. Coming upon the tombstone, I fell to my knees and bowed my head. "Sorry I don't have flowers today," I whispered. "I sort of came here to talk. You know how it is to love someone you can never have... right? What do I do? Should I tell Lloyd how I feel? But then, he'd hate me..." I sobbed miserably, my heart sinking lower.

_Didn't Zelos say something about him not hating you? _"Well, he didn't help at all..." _I suppose that's right. _"What should I do then?" _Perhaps you should let him go. _"I've tried, but I can't! I just can't!" _Maybe you just need help. _"Help? No one understands but you, and you're..." _Genis, turn around. _I did so, and I saw something that I never thought I'd see again. "Mithos?"

"Did you think you've been talking to voices in your head this whole time?" He chuckled. "Genis, I thought you were smarter than that." He smiled at me warmly.

"I... guess I have..." This hadn't been the first time that I'd been replying to the conversations at the grave. "But, you can't be... Lloyd, he killed you!"

"Love has no boundries." I blinked for a moment, before he kneeled before me and kissed me gently on the lips. I was momentarily stiff. "I'm still here, aren't I?"

"I..." Finally regaining (half of) my composure, I started talking again. "Well, even still... I don't know what to do. Like Zelos said, I'm just getting in their way. And I hurt so much... sometimes I wish I didn't feel anymore."

"Would you do anything for them? For him?" I turned to the "resurrected" angel, who was staring at me with a serious look painted in his eyes. "Would you be willing to give up anything?"

"Yes, anything!" I embraced him, and he held me. "I'd give up my whole self for his happiness!" I felt arms hold me closer, and a kiss was planted on my head.

"I think I know the way... but, you'd give up your feelings, your emotions..."

"I don't want to feel anymore! It hurts too much!" Tears feel like rain. "I loved Presea, but in truth, she was twenty-eight! I love Lloyd, but he's in love with someone else, and he's a guy! Everything hurts, I don't want it anymore... I just want Lloyd to be happy..."

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes..." My words became whispers against his ear. "That's what I want."

"If it makes you feel any better, you'll be with me forever..."

I nodded against his chest. "It does. You're the only who understands me. You're the only one who will protect me. Thank you..." I supposed it was for the best. I felt my hand being tugged at, and a few moments later when it was released, I held it up behind the blonde, and stared at the Exphere for a few moments. "What..."

"I changed your Exphere, but it will be a while until it works the way it should. Say what you need to, and come back tomorrow, okay?" Our hold was released, and Mithos cupped my chin in his fingertips, held it up, and kissed me lightly. "It'll be okay. You can trust me."

"Right... thank you." We embraced a final time. But I still wondered...

_Wasn't he dead?_

_I leave the roulette  
__In a path of dust  
__Turning away  
__Doing what I must_

_Misfortune has become mine  
__It's what I get for sin  
__Left with empty pockets  
__I hear a roulette spin

* * *

_**A/N: Man, the ending sucked. Don't worry, there's another sequel coming. It's branching off (somewhat) from it's original theme: but there's a continual of it. Besides, _This Piece of Fabric _was only three chapters as well, ne?**

**Another reason why I'm dumping this into a different fic is because it's really cutting off from my own experience. I never said went to someone (or a grave) and sobbed for a way out. I just sat back and suffered silently... for once. Actually, just last night, I refused to tell someone about it. Though I _do _have a connection with the next part, it happened _before, _and _that _set off _this _chain... ironic, eh? I think so. XD**

**By the way, while this is being posted in the shonen-ai category (anti and sided, so what? It still is...) I'd like to announce that I set up the _Wall of Flame _in my bio. I'd like to thank Xeora for the idea (I saw it in one of your fanfics as the "Wall of Idiots" and loved it...)My reviewers know how much I appreciate them, but I'd like to let flamers know how I feel. You're ignorant, and you can't spell. HAHA. I LAUGH AT YOU. **

**To those of you who are reading this (with an open mind and such,) please review! So far, I haven't gotten that many. Which is to be expected... but... I'd just like to know if anyone (else) is actually reading this. I might just drop it here, and you'll never know what Mithos has in store for Genis... you wouldn't want _that, _would you? I thought so. :snicker: As always, I'll mark the new fanfic with the SEQUEL TO (ROULETTE) seal, and post it soon. Until then, see ya!(?) Hehe. **


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